but can i tell you a secret
i love him
i love him
so i had no idea,
but he never stopped loving me.
he wants me still.
I took him back.
I never stopped loving or wanting him.
but he hurt me so badly and
I’m so scared.
But I’m also happy.
But don’t you know everyone is not waiting for you?
You are not the dream they had last night.
im just trying to whisper enough for someone to find me
i don’t know which way the wind dies
and in the winter I cry for the holes in my socks
you ask me questions I don’t know the answers to
and I never saw it
but I guess I was your 500 days of summer
and the next girl will be your autumn
I know how much you’d appreciate that
and in the spring I try to dance with the daffodils
but they don’t like the way my blood fills them up
the earth just takes it in
and I don’t know where I’m going
and you don’t know who you are
that’s not my job
that’s not me
and I’m letting you go
not because you were ever mine
but because I can’t keep you inside me anymore
I don’t want to
I wanted you
and now I want me
like the summer and the sound of the rain and the mud at the bottom of a lake in between my toes and the moon kissing my shoulders and my nipples and making my scars glimmer in the night and I whisper that I love me. I love me. I love me.